Quitting, then Not

From 10/24/13

Today was just a normal day.

Got up early enough to do 3/5ths of my workout

Got the kids off to school

Came home for breakfast and shower.

Went to get my haircut.  (was able to communicate well enough to make the appointment over the phone)

Got a haircut.  (the stylist knows English, but somehow, just trim off the ends, turned into 2-3 inches on the floor.  But what can you do.  After that first snip there is no turning back, and there is no saying, "STOP!!!!  You cut off TOO much of my hair!!"  But it made for an uncomfortable next 15 minutes).

Oh well.  It is just hair.  I'm not entering any beauty contests.   And I don't think anyone even cares.  But I do think I would rather not go to her again.

But then I got to go to a market and buy some awesome clothes.  Awesome!!!!!  A tiger printed shirt with hot pink tropical flowers!  And a crazy tropical print floor length skirt.  I know.  AWESOME!  I also got some chia seeds, (for eating, not making pets) and fruits and vegetables.  I felt good.  And peaceful.  And grateful.

It was very nice to have some time to myself.

I picked up Felix and Miles from school.  We played in the park even though it was Super Hot.  

And then I tried to communicate again in Portuguese.  And then my friend didn't understand what I was trying to write.  And then I just lost all confidence and security and figured I give up trying to learn Portuguese.  I give up.  If I have tried this long and still can't be understood then that is it.  I am done.

I hate that feeling.  It was crushing.  It was stupid and illogical.  But it was still there.

Failure. 

Felix and Miles comforted me by bringing me about 4 blankets.  I was comforted by just watching them play with their cars.

I decided to keep going on my goal to do something that makes me happy each day.  I made these huge Halloween faces out of fabric and glue (haven't sewn anything for over a year).  It was good.

Then the missionaries called.  They needed someone to look after a sister that had a wisdom tooth pulled. That is good.  Forget my pity party and help someone who needs it.

So I picked up Grace and Oliver at school.  Then the gas light came on.  So I waited a super long time to get gas at the station.  And then when it was finally my turn I said I wanted 10 liters of gas and the guy gave me R$10 worth of gas (like 3 liters).  Argh.  Then I dropped off Oliver and Grace at our house so I could have room to pick up the missionaries.  Then to downtown to pick up the missionaries.  I totally blocked lanes of traffic to pick them up.  But oh well.  I was not going to try to go around the block which would take 25 minutes to find a place to park.  Then finally back home.  Whew.

It is nice not to quit when you feel like a failure.  Sometimes you can do some good if you just keep going.